I feel fat.

This morning, I was getting ready for work and nothing was going well. I couldn't find a single thing to wear, my hair wasn't cooperating and I'll be honest, I just felt so fat. I don't want complements or "Nooo you're nooooots" in reply to this. I know we've all been there so I really would just rather a "cheers, me too" because my point is that I let it bother me and ruin my morning. It made me so angry that I've been working out SO much and things in my closet still didn't fit right. I didn't even want to talk to God because I was so moody. I had a lot of plans to get things done before my 10am shift, but circumstances forced those to change and I ended up wearing my "fat dress" just to get out of the door comfortable and clothed. I got to work a little early and went to get my Acai bowl. As I settled in, I turned on my audio book by Alex Seeley, "Tailor Made." 

Think you could guess what the section I happened to be listening to was about? It was about Alex's husband who had a suit two sizes too big and they went to get a new one. She mentioned how much better he felt when he was fitted for a suit that actually matched his measurements. She then goes on to talk about how we are to put on the fruits of the spirit like we put on clothes. How much more confident and joyful we will feel when we are clothed in our tailor made, God given talents and purpose. We are to focus more on inward beauty, which we hear all the time in various places, but God chose this morning to speak to me through this audio book, even when I didn't want to speak to Him. She talks about putting on love, joy, peace, etc. and I imagined myself slipping into those attributes verses actual clothes. I imagined looking at God with puppy eyes, "I'm sorry I'm mad at you. I'm going to focus on showing other's the love of God today and not worry about my appearance as much. You call me beautiful, you call me radiant. I pray for an opportunity to encourage someone today as I needed it this morning." 

I actually am in one of those "I kinda just feel like crying today," moods. My to-do list is overwhelming and I may have over caffeinated so my anxiety is paying a visit. Something heavy in my spirit is just getting me today and this is when I clothe myself with what He calls me and put on my war paint. I have to go into battle, fighting the lies the devil is trying to plant in my mind. I have to *drumroll* UNVEIL myself. You think it's a coincidence that the Lord had me title my non-profit something that I have to actively practice? Keeps me honest I guess.

If you're in a season of tear stained cheeks and low self confidence, cheers, me too. How about we join forces and go into battle together? Also, wanna grab a green juice? They always make me feel a little better…

 

Psalm 46:5(NIV)

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.