Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014
Marissa Maharaj Photography //
I love this!
Sep 1, 2014
Aug 31, 2014
Today didn’t find me on a hiking trail or in a sea plane overlooking creation. Today… Today found me at Jesus’ feet, weeping in defeat and discouragement. It found me in apologies and sorrow unable to look up at Him, just in the fetal position at His feet, crying out to Him.
He looked down at His beloved, tears filled His eyes as he picked up my chin. He knew everything I felt, everything that made my heart so heavy. He had been holding his hand out, waiting for me to grab it for a while and this was the moment He had known I would have to make it to before I did so. He lifted my chin, held out his hand to help me up and told me to look Him in the eye. He said, “You are mine. Your peace and joy comes from me. Your healing and hope comes when you walk with me. When we are hand in hand.” “I don’t deserve this grace, Lord. I can’t accept it,” I would cry. “Ainsley. (If you don’t feel a heart squeeze thinking about Jesus calling you by name, whew!) You are MY daughter. MY heart and MY reason for dying on the cross. The exact reason you’re weeping at my feet is why I died. You have been forgiven and you WILL accept my grace because I didn’t die for you to feel so defeated and lifeless. I died to give you life abundantly and follow through with my promises. The empty promises you’ve heard from man are NOT an example of my provision and promise for your life. I am the God of the universe and I am FOR you. I am on your team and in your heart. I am the one you find on the trail and in the plane and on any and all other adventures we have been on and will continue to go on. I send angels before you to protect you, Daughter. I am Yours and You are MINE.”
I crawled up in His lap and rested my head on His shoulder. Weak and feeble I ran out of tears, but a flood of memories came back to me in that place. The promises, visions, dreams and goals he planted in my heart and in my life. Fear of abandonment, of the future and of so many other things vanished in His presence and I felt my heart in His care and unconditional love. He whispered, “I love you.” I whispered back, “I love you too. Thank you Jesus.”
Aug 28, 2014
I like imagining in adventures. I guess you know that if you read my previous post about hiking with Jesus, but today I feel like we are in an airplane. A small one & I’m sitting by the window. As I look out above the millions of trees and tiny bodies of water (we aren’t that high, more like a sea plane kinda thing) he says, “I made this for you. I made this so you can look out in awe and wonder at the beauty of nature and get a teeny tiny microscopic glimpse of what happens when I see you. You are worth SO much more than those trees you love. Those animals you get so happy seeing. You are more beautiful than those flowers in the fields and you often don’t believe it. You look in the mirror wondering what and how to “fix” yourself, but I made those flowers so you know that you’re ten zillion times more beautiful than they are.” I smile and tears fill my eyes as I look out of the window again. His arm around my shoulders he whispers, “Daughter, you will be cared for and grow and blossom as the lilies do. You will be strong and stand tall as the trees and you will be as calm as the still waters beneath us.”
Thank you, Father.